True Friendship

This is how a conversation started after my sister's friends failed to make an appearance at her surprise baby shower:

"Why weren't you there? I missed seeing you, today," my sister said.
"I felt disrespected," one friend responded.

Um really, you felt disrespected? About what? You felt like you'd been done wrong because someone didn't take and use all of your suggestions. After all, it was a group effort so you run the risk of being out-voted. All adults know this. So, pull your big girl pants up and suck it up.

Granted, party planning can be a headache. You have to coordinate, collaborate, create, and pull it all together in time and under budget. It's tough work but if you really care about someone, you do it from the heart.

However, after one friend gave a hypothetical scenario about doing something from the heart instead of doing something for 'show', all I can see is that you had no heart in this. At the time, my sister had no idea what you were alluding to when you gave the little hypothetical spill about planning a party for a relative. You said people involved were doing it from the wrong place and not being inclusive of others.

Now, she sees that you felt that way about helping to plan her surprise baby shower. When told about the agreed-upon date, you were upset that it wasn't on a prior weekend that you'd suggested. Those weekends unfortunately didn't work for others. But, in your haze of judgement, you decided you wouldn't attend, wouldn't hold up your end of the bargain to provide a nice cake, and wouldn't help decorate the venue.

Really, so you just leave folks hanging because you were mad about the date? Oh okay, thanks for letting me know how you really operate. Thankfully, a 'real' friend stepped up to the plate and pulled it all off without a hitch. To her, I say, "Thank you so very much for helping make the surprise shower truly memorable and special for my sister."

While this incident did not directly affect me, it did affect someone I am very close to. For that, I take it very personally. I just don't understand how my sister has always been there for this young lady and another in her office building; helping during emergencies, treating them to lunch, etc but this weekend they both let her down. They let their own childish emotions regarding someone else forever change a friendship....a friendship that now seems to only be one-sided.

Baby-Making Time

First, we had the college romances. Then, there were the exciting and, well to be honest, expected engagements. Next, the imminent wedding planning, bridal showers, and bachelorette parties. Finally, the big day; stressful for everyone but still a day all girls look forward to: their wedding day. I was thrilled that my twin sister was getting hitched. She was happy and I was happy for her. A few months later, my other best friend also tied the knot. On a side note, those were just two weddings that year. I was in two more and attended at least 3 others that year.

Anyway, I eventually got used to the idea that my best friends were part of permanent couples while I remained the single girlfriend who they still live vicariously through. Believe me, I don't mind. It's kind of therapeutic to talk to them about dating drama. But fast-forward a couple of years, and BAM, they're pregnant and about to leave me in the dust AGAIN. Lol, I'm being overly dramatic but, I'm slightly serious when I say "Well darn, I still haven't caught up to this bandwagon and they throw another speed bump in my path." Fortunately, we've all remained close in the last few years as we've all worked on graduate school degrees, careers, moved, and settled into homes. I was worried at first, but everything worked out, I still had close relationships my beasties.

But this time, I know it will be different. They will not only have the role of wife to manage, they'll be mothers. I can't imagine how this life-changing event will affect them individually, but I know that I am slightly anxious to see how it will affect our semi-annual Girl Nights Out and three-way chat sessions. Maybe, motherhood will strengthen an already great friendship. Maybe it will make it tougher to keep in touch. Either way, I know that I will do my best to remind them that I can still be their escape away by sharing my crazy stories. I can even babysit to give 'em a break every now and then. Hey, what are friends for right? But most importantly, I want them to remember that I'm always here for them no matter what. Even though I may feel slightly threatened by the arrival of a new niece and nephew, I am so excited to meet them and I am ready and willing be along for the ride ahead: roadblocks, speed bumps, and all. :-)