It Takes Courage to Push Yourself

It’s official. I have registered for my first half-marathon! While I am ecstatic and thrilled to take on this new challenge, I am also terrified. I have never run 13.1 miles or even walked that far at one time in my life. I can’t tell you how intimidated I am of this goal I’ve set for myself. I am so scared that I just knew that I had to do it.

I’m not sure if that concept makes sense but I think my sister put it best when she said, “Usually when I’m afraid or nervous to do something, I know it’s the right move to make.”

After all, if we were indifferent about doing something or making a decision, is it really meaningful to us? With that said, I have spent my 28 years on Earth faithfully staying in my comfort zone where I felt safe. But guys, that’s so boring. I’m determined to turn to change that…one step at a time.

For example, I found a ‘safe’ way to work out a few years ago. I figured if I went to the gym and managed to stay on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, I was doing great; minimal sweat but at least I was there. Right? Wrong. I wasn’t pushing myself.

So, one day I decided I wanted to challenge myself to do better and be better. I hopped on the dreaded treadmill and I started running. Okay, jogging might be a better verb. But, the point is that I started. I began with a mile at a time…praying each time that I wouldn’t be the girl to trip and fall on her face. By the grace of God, I’ve increased my speed, my mileage, and the number of times I run during the week over the last year.

As I built my confidence in my ability to run on the treadmill, I pushed myself to hit the road and run outside.  And, y’all I have never felt better in my life. I would have never believed in a million years that I’d be running this much and this far. Just last week, I ran 10 miles for the first time EVER! Training for the half-marathon has been hard and has taken sacrifice but it’s so gratifying to know that I’m well on my way to reaching half-marathon status in a few weeks.

In telling you about this journey, I wanted convey that life, at its most basic level, is about pushing yourself. It’s about not being a complacent couch potato. It’s about getting up and being active in your life, not just physically but also mentally. The gym or running may not be that outlet for you but there is a goal out there that can push you to be a better you. So do what I did….even if you’re terrified, unsure, or nervous…take the first step and JUST DO IT. I know you can!

Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way

Hi, guys! I know it's been more than a month since my last post but here is one that I think was worth the wait. Thanks for reading!

Life isn’t easy. It isn’t perfect. It hardly ever goes according to plan. It’s tough. But, though all the challenges and setbacks, it’s definitely worth living to the fullest. For example, we have all set out to reach or attain some goal over the course of our lives. We want to become doctors, lawyers, and therapists. We want to start families by 25. We want to run marathons or win a big contest.

Initially, we’re excited with the thought of reaching that goal and adding it to our list of accomplishments. We overlook the fact that it may actually take hard work to get there. We forget that some days won’t go our way, a roadblock or obstacle may slow us down, or that somewhere in the midst of our journey to achieve that goal; forces beyond our control may step in to test our determination, faith and perseverance.

If you ask me, these tests are the times that make the achievement worthwhile. They give us a sense of true accomplishment and appreciation for standing our ground and finishing the course. So, no matter how discouraged we may become along the way. No matter how hard we hit that invisible wall. No matter how much it seems like those against us are getting the last word. You can do it. Whenever you have the will to push on and push through, you will find your way through it to that prize.

With all that said, I just want to encourage anyone who seems to be stuck in that tunnel of doubt, darkness, or discouragement. Don’t go through those trying times alone. Seek God for wisdom and strength. Seek family and friends for support. Pray. It won’t be easy but it is possible!

Happiness

A warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie.  An ice cream cone. A hug. A smile from a stranger. A cute puppy. A glass of wine. Those are some of my ideas of happiness… Sometimes you can in fact bottle it up but other times, it is a little harder to define or even recognize.

As I look back to my early twenties to now, I can more clearly see that happiness is more than just that giggly, euphoric feeling you get when you’re young and innocent or how it tends to be depicted on television and in books. The best happiness is quiet. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It’s simple. It’s beautiful.

Remember when you were little and you’d give anything to go to the pool or swing at the playground? How’d you feel when it happened? I know I was ecstatic and it definitely induced that giggly can’t feel my toes feeling. But now after a few hard knocks of life, heartbreaks, lessons learned by mistakes, and the more defined character brought on by maturity; I know that true self-induced happiness is hard to come by. But, at the same time it’s really not.

I know you’re probably thinking, “What’s she trying to say?” I hope I can convey what I mean when I say that happiness is that inner glow, that warm sensation at the pit of your stomach, that little flutter that comes to you when you’re at…peace. No stress. No worries. No fear. It’s when you let go and just enjoy life. It’s when you concentrate on you. It’s when you put your well-being first and not someone else’s. It’s when the physical you, the spiritual you, and the mental you are on the same page.

So, even though I still get a little giddy over an ice cream cone or a cute puppy, I know that I don’t have to wait around for those moments to feel that happy that makes me give that Mona Lisa smile that makes others think, “I want whatever she’s having.” I can just spend a little quality time with ‘me’ and enjoy being happy with the Amelia I am continuing to get to know.

Family First: Taking an Active Role

Looking back over my busy weekend that included graduating with my Master of Public Administration degree, two baby showers, and an 84^th annual family reunion; one theme takes a prominent place in my mind. That theme is family.

Through everything we experience in life, family is ALWAYS there to help us through all phases of life. They support us, help us celebrate important achievements, help welcome new life, help mourn the passing of loved ones, catch us when we fall, guide us, and lift us up when we need a little push in the right direction.

We all like to think that if they need us, we’ve got our family members’ backs too. But, do we? As I think about myself and my own involvement in keeping my family’s legacy alive, I wonder if my generation and the younger ‘kids’ understand that we have a duty to take the proverbial baton and carry on traditions that our elders have managed to keep alive.

At the ripe old age of 28, I realize I need to step up to the plate and take a more active role in helping the older crew plan events such as our annual family reunions, be a leader and mentor to younger cousins, reach out to my elders more, and just be there more. I need to be there for all those important events that keep families close, informed, involved, and engaged. I may live a few hours away from my hometown but that is not an excuse to take a back seat in my involvement.

One day I plan to have kids and I want to be a good example for them. I want them to observe what it truly means to be family-oriented and to cherish the legacy of family history. As each generation begins and grows, it is vital that we all remember that it’s not just about our success as individuals; it’s just as important for us to ensure the success of our family by striving to remember that we’re who we are because of family.

True Friendship

This is how a conversation started after my sister's friends failed to make an appearance at her surprise baby shower:

"Why weren't you there? I missed seeing you, today," my sister said.
"I felt disrespected," one friend responded.

Um really, you felt disrespected? About what? You felt like you'd been done wrong because someone didn't take and use all of your suggestions. After all, it was a group effort so you run the risk of being out-voted. All adults know this. So, pull your big girl pants up and suck it up.

Granted, party planning can be a headache. You have to coordinate, collaborate, create, and pull it all together in time and under budget. It's tough work but if you really care about someone, you do it from the heart.

However, after one friend gave a hypothetical scenario about doing something from the heart instead of doing something for 'show', all I can see is that you had no heart in this. At the time, my sister had no idea what you were alluding to when you gave the little hypothetical spill about planning a party for a relative. You said people involved were doing it from the wrong place and not being inclusive of others.

Now, she sees that you felt that way about helping to plan her surprise baby shower. When told about the agreed-upon date, you were upset that it wasn't on a prior weekend that you'd suggested. Those weekends unfortunately didn't work for others. But, in your haze of judgement, you decided you wouldn't attend, wouldn't hold up your end of the bargain to provide a nice cake, and wouldn't help decorate the venue.

Really, so you just leave folks hanging because you were mad about the date? Oh okay, thanks for letting me know how you really operate. Thankfully, a 'real' friend stepped up to the plate and pulled it all off without a hitch. To her, I say, "Thank you so very much for helping make the surprise shower truly memorable and special for my sister."

While this incident did not directly affect me, it did affect someone I am very close to. For that, I take it very personally. I just don't understand how my sister has always been there for this young lady and another in her office building; helping during emergencies, treating them to lunch, etc but this weekend they both let her down. They let their own childish emotions regarding someone else forever change a friendship....a friendship that now seems to only be one-sided.

Baby-Making Time

First, we had the college romances. Then, there were the exciting and, well to be honest, expected engagements. Next, the imminent wedding planning, bridal showers, and bachelorette parties. Finally, the big day; stressful for everyone but still a day all girls look forward to: their wedding day. I was thrilled that my twin sister was getting hitched. She was happy and I was happy for her. A few months later, my other best friend also tied the knot. On a side note, those were just two weddings that year. I was in two more and attended at least 3 others that year.

Anyway, I eventually got used to the idea that my best friends were part of permanent couples while I remained the single girlfriend who they still live vicariously through. Believe me, I don't mind. It's kind of therapeutic to talk to them about dating drama. But fast-forward a couple of years, and BAM, they're pregnant and about to leave me in the dust AGAIN. Lol, I'm being overly dramatic but, I'm slightly serious when I say "Well darn, I still haven't caught up to this bandwagon and they throw another speed bump in my path." Fortunately, we've all remained close in the last few years as we've all worked on graduate school degrees, careers, moved, and settled into homes. I was worried at first, but everything worked out, I still had close relationships my beasties.

But this time, I know it will be different. They will not only have the role of wife to manage, they'll be mothers. I can't imagine how this life-changing event will affect them individually, but I know that I am slightly anxious to see how it will affect our semi-annual Girl Nights Out and three-way chat sessions. Maybe, motherhood will strengthen an already great friendship. Maybe it will make it tougher to keep in touch. Either way, I know that I will do my best to remind them that I can still be their escape away by sharing my crazy stories. I can even babysit to give 'em a break every now and then. Hey, what are friends for right? But most importantly, I want them to remember that I'm always here for them no matter what. Even though I may feel slightly threatened by the arrival of a new niece and nephew, I am so excited to meet them and I am ready and willing be along for the ride ahead: roadblocks, speed bumps, and all. :-)